Why men pull away when they’re falling in love, and what can you do to get your relationship back on track?
So, however, how it usually goes down, you’re dating a guy and things seem to be going well, you like this guy, you think that he could be the one, but then, all of a sudden, he is backing away, he’s acting distant, and you have no idea what’s going on? What happened? Did you do something wrong? Did you do something to turn him off? Or did you say something you shouldn’t have are all men commitment-phobes? Why is not everything working properly?
First things first are women tend to preemptively panic when something seems like a bad sign. So before you start panicking over the fact that he seems to be losing interest and pulling away, make sure he’s pulling away just give it a few days and see what happens. Make sure you have a problem before you try to solve the problem. Most of the time everything will go back to normal, and there will just be no problem to solve, so it’s a waste of time and energy to focus on solving a problem that isn’t even a problem. But what if he is pulling away, and you’ve given it a few days, but it’s clear that he legitimately is pulling away from you.
Reasons Why Men Pull Away When They’re Falling In Love:
1. He Is Under Pressure Over Something That Has Nothing To Do With You:
This is most likely the culprit when men are stressed or emotionally out of balance or just dealing with something that is overly stressful. Whatever the case, maybe most men prefer to pull back retreat, and deal with it internally. They don’t want to bring it into the relationship, and then have a relationship problem to deal with on top of whatever other problem they’re dealing with.
Men prefer to just work things out on their own, and they don’t like to be seen when they’re in a weakened or vulnerable state, even if it’s by you the woman that they love who cares about them. They just prefer to work through it on their own this is just a guy thing.
2. He Needs To Get Out Of The Emotional Whirlpool:
Most men aren’t comfortable navigating the emotional whirlpool, they can be very intense as you know anyone who’s ever been in love knows that it is an extremely intense emotional experience.
And most men have a really hard time dealing with that and when it gets to be too much, he might just pull back to recalibrate get himself back to a good solid place, and he might just need to get back in touch with his masculine energy and out of all that fluffy feminine energy that comes with falling in love. If either way the only emotions they would feel are calm and content that’s it anything beyond that can get to be a bit overwhelming for him.
3. He Is Not Ready To Get Married Or Make A Serious Commitment:
He might pull away when it seems like he’s falling in love if he is not sure, if he’s ready to get married or for a serious commitment, or if a guy senses that this is what you want he could tell that you want to get married or serious commitment. And if he’s not quite on that page yet, he might pull away because he’s just trying to figure out how he feels, he doesn’t necessarily want to break up with you, he doesn’t want to lose you, but he just isn’t sure if you guys are on the same page.
Again, this is just the way that men deal with problems they prefer to retreat to pull back work through it on their own, and then come back once they’ve solved the problem it doesn’t mean you’re doomed, he might realize that he doesn’t want to marry you, or he might realize he doesn’t want to get married at all. Either way, it’s good for him to just take that space “What he has to do to get the clarity that he needs.“
4. The Relationship Is Moving Too Fast:
Relationships do tend to start at lightning speed especially when you are being flooded with the chemistry and the dopamine and just the electricity and the excitement of it all because it is super exciting to fall in love as a result, it might be hard for you guys to pry yourself away from one another, and this isn’t a healthy thing, or it’s not a healthy way to be even though that might be your natural response.
You want to spend all your time with this other person, he might be feeling a little too pressured at this point because the relationship is moving so quickly, and it just doesn’t feel natural and sustainable to him to keep up that pace. So this could be the reason why he’s pulling back a little bit that he might just want to step back and reset and get things back to a normal pace, and that’s a good thing healthy relationships build slowly that they don’t start all at once.
5. He Wants To Run His Life In Order:
Most men need to feel like their life is in order in ways that are significant and meaningful to them, it could be his career or emotional state, whatever the case, maybe, men need to feel like their lives are in order that he is on top of things in his life before they want to settle down into a relationship.
Most women do not feel well, first I’m gonna get my career on track, and then, I’m gonna get into a serious relationship woman, she might hold off on having children in favor of you know focusing on their career, and that’s one thing, but a woman most likely won’t say that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship because she just wants to focus on her career.
A woman can do both men don’t want to be seen one when they’re in a weakened state and if he is unemployed or he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life that is a weakened state in his mind. Maybe you don’t think it’s a big deal, but to him it is, and he won’t want to be seen by a woman that he cares about when he is in that state.
So, if you’re dating a guy, he’s pulling away, and he has some messiness in his life, but he needs to sort through then, he may be just not ready to be in a relationship until he gets on top of whatever his issues are and from personal experience. Do not try to solve his problems for him, don’t find a job for him, don’t try to clean up his life for him that just does not end well.
6. You Are Not The Only One:
He might be pulling away is that he is not sure if you’re the “one”. Just because it all sounds good on paper does not mean that it’s good in real life. Love can not conquer all despite what you’ve been told for your entire life and cannot compensate for a lack of fundamental compatibility and chemistry, also cannot compensate for a lack of compatibility you can’t survive on chemistry alone.
Your body might be telling you one thing, but your rational mind might be saying another, maybe the chemistry is so strong you think that it can outweigh whatever the issues are, but it just is not the case; you cannot stand on chemistry alone, you have to be compatible, you have to share goals, values, and vision for the future.
A lot of women tend to think that; “Oh I can make it work, it doesn’t matter he doesn’t want kids, and I wanted kids.” We’ll figure it out love conquers, all love will find a way, it doesn’t work this way also if a guy isn’t sure that you’re the one, and he breaks up with you or says he needs space, whatever, that’s a clear sign that he is not the one because the right guy for you is a guy who wants to be with you.
Steps To Stop Men Pulling Away When They’re Falling In Love:
How do you solve this and get the relationship back on track? No matter what the reason and all these reasons are different, but it’s not even you don’t even need to figure out exactly what your reason is.
1. You Should Be Focus On Yourself:
Back off, it doesn’t mean you’re just sitting back and wait around for him to figure out what he wants. You should be focusing on yourself during this time. You should be focusing on building a life that is happy and fun and meaningful and fulfilling a life that you love. So that; you’re happy when you’re with this guy, you’re happy when you’re not with this guy. You can be fully happy on your own not in the relationship, and then when if the relationship does work out, and he does come back, you could bring all that back into the relationship that those are the best relationships.
Relationships where two people are happy and fulfilled on their own, and then, they can come together and all that happiness spills into the relationship as opposed to just extracting happiness from the relationship.
2. Just Give Him Some Space:
Let him deal with whatever, he needs to deal with that’s the common thread amongst all these reasons why a guy will pull away when he’s falling in love, the common denominator here’s:
- He just needs to figure things out.
- He’s not fully sorted out.
- He doesn’t know how he feels.
- Maybe he doesn’t know what he wants.
Whatever the case, maybe, don’t solve his problems for him, you can’t stress this enough. You want a partner, not a project let him get to a place where he can be a partner to you. He is not a project for you to work on, and fix this is the biggest mistake women make.
Try to fix your relationship after this let that be that focus on yourself. Don’t sit around stalking him obsessing over what he’s doing? What he’s thinking? Where he’s at? What’s going on? None of that. Focus on yourself let him do what he needs to do. You can’t control how he feels and you can’t badger him into wanting to be with you. You can inspire him to want whew by filling the sentence being your best self.
Things Happen After You Follow The Steps To Stop Men Pulling Away When They’re Falling In Love:
- He’s gonna solve this problem, and he’s gonna come back, and the relationship will be better than ever.
- He’ll open up, and he’ll talk to you about it and meet you can work or solve it together.
- He will completely disappear, or he’ll come back, he’ll dump you, and then he’ll disappear.