When A Guy Says He Needs Time To Figure Himself Out

When A Guy Says He Needs Time To Figure Himself Out

What does it mean when a guy says he needs time to figure himself out? Is he breaking up? Did I do something wrong? These questions haunt us. That is why sometimes we try to avoid them. Sometimes, girls like keeping themselves in darkness. It’s just that we are afraid of being left behind by the person we admire the most. Girls are usually a little too emotional.

Just stop the negativity and keep it simple and clean. He just needs some time, or you could say a little space just to figure himself. There could be plenty of reasons why he needs that. He just asked for a little time. Does this mean that your relationship is all done and finished? Not like that. Asking for a little time doesn’t mean that. Well, here is how we can figure out what he means by wanting time for himself.

Reasons Why He Needs Time To Figure Himself Out:

1. He Needs Some Space To Himself:

He Needs Some Space To Himself

When a guy says he needs time to figure out himself means the same as asking for a little space. They mean nothing else from that. He is asking you to give him some time to live his life in the same way, he used to. It hurts but what he means by this is that he needs time to adjust to the relationship.

As boys find it a little difficult to adjust themselves to any type of relationship. They might be trying to ask for some space to solve some of his issues. He wants to solve it on his own as he might be thinking that his problems might worry or burden you. He might be a little considerate.

In these types of situations, first, try to trove him and see what he wants. In my opinion, giving space to him when he needs it will help you in building up your relationship. His actions will also help you in knowing what type of space he wants. A little space in any type of relationship is healthy. It helps in gaining each other’s trust. Giving space to your boyfriend when he needs it will lead him in trusting you and eventually, he will respect you more than he used to.

People indeed ask for time, so they can work on themselves. Maybe they want to achieve something in life or want to be in some position which could be the reason for asking for time. He might be thinking about yours and his future. You never know what type of challenges the future holds for you. He might be wanting to get stable, so both of you could have a happy life in the future.

Well, I think you should also take this opportunity to think about yourself. Who do you are or what do you want to become in life? If you don’t love yourself truly so how could you give yourself or love another one in the relationship? Before someone else in life, first, try to love yourself the most so that the other one could do the same for you too. You could get what you deserve from him.

2. He Needs A Little Break From The Relationship:

He Needs A Little Break From The Relationship

When a guy signals about wanting a little break from the relationship does not necessarily mean he is asking for a breakup. Instead, it could be because of you clinging to him too much which feels suffocating to him. Although they love you a lot, sometimes they also need time to focus on themselves.

He might be asking for little time to hang out with his friends or play video games with them as you do so. It might be related to his office work which he needs to sort and be relaxed so that he can give you the time you need. Giving him his time to sort out his things will help him in clearing out his mind.

With a relaxed attitude, he could give you his 100% attention. Otherwise, he might be partly giving you the attention which might be a little disturbing to you. He might not concentrate on listening to you with his full attention towards you.

His mind would be full of different thoughts or tensions about his work or relationship. What I feel is that if love is real a little time apart won’t drive you away from one another. It’s just a sign that shows you are being too clingy.

3. Your Quarreling Is Driving Him Away:

Your Quarreling Is Driving Him Away

Quarreling and arguing sometimes force the person to drive away from one’s life for some peace. Arguing affects a relationship of any kind so badly. Just because you love or like each other doesn’t mean you are compatible.

It might be because of the quarrel you have all the time which is forcing him to give some time to their relationship. He might be thinking of giving himself the time so that he can look upon the relationship or where he is wrong or where he needs to accept something. This might be even helpful to you to consider the relationship and reflect upon yourself where you might be wrong or where you need to or don’t need to adjust. A little apart from each other will do you good.

Besides, communicating with each other will help you in understanding each other’s feelings and perspectives. For example, the topic where your boyfriend is asking for the time apart just to figure himself out. This doesn’t mean he wants to have a breakup.

An honest conversation with each other will also help in overcoming the differences and in finding a common ground. If you are unable to work as a team and have clashed at some places, then as your relationship of yours moves on, things will start to get worse. Your relationship will start declining. So instead of arguing, give him the time he needs, so he can fully pay attention to you afterward.

4. Observe How He Acts Around You:

Observe How He Acts Around You

To be sure about how he will utilize the time which he is asking. Observe for some time the way he acts around and the way he acts around his friends (especially women). Your observation will help in getting to the conclusion of whether he really wants the time for himself or is he just making excuses to get out of the relationship. Observing your boyfriend will lead you in understanding both the male and female perspectives.

A lot of relationships come to an end when one asks for some time or space himself from another, cause the other feels a little insecure. They fail to provide each other with their needed freedom. At times like these trust plays an important role in making them realize.

Sometimes taking the risk and letting them go while trusting each other leads to knowing the reality of your relationship. Either both of you will be able to know each other’s true place, and your relationship will become much stronger or your relationship may come to an end. Sometimes apart will let you know each other’s true worth and the place you hold in each other’s hearts. It might help me know whether you need to back up from the relationship or continue it.

5. He Is Not Ready To Take The Relationship Far:

He Is Not Ready To Take The Relationship Far

He might be scared to fully commit to you, or he might be feeling pressure in taking the relationship to the next level. Maybe he fears his feelings. A lot of men have a difficult time expressing themselves. He might also be facing difficulty while dealing with you which could be the reason, he needs time. You might be the first woman with whom he wants to spend his life, or he is serious with you. It could be the reason he might be too scared.

If you are always asking for a commitment that might also scare him, and he might run away from that decision all his life. Your commitment phobia will increase the gap between your relationship, and you would be able to do anything. In either of the cases, granting him his time will be the right thing to do. Forcing things and committing him with you won’t get you anywhere. Maybe he needs the time, so he can look at the relationship from his perspective.

The pressure to become committed or to get married from friends and family could be another reason for him asking sometimes. This may be the reason he doesn’t want to take his relationship to the next level. The more you pressure him, the more he will become desperate to leave and utilize the time to figure things out. Constant pressure will lead your relationship to an end. Grant him the amount of time he needs by talking honestly and trying to assure him that you don’t want to force anything.

Things you could do so to help your relationship:

Talk To Him About His Feelings:

Talk To Him About His Feelings

Try to communicate with him. Have an honest talk with each other. It will help you both in understanding and trusting each other. Communication helps in solving any type of misunderstandings between people. Communication helps the couple to overcome their issues and grow towards the partner. It helps you build up a trustworthy relationship in which you no longer need to avoid any kind of conversation.

Sometimes we like to assume things on our own which lead us in keeping the wrong impression of people in our mind. For example, in this scenario, you think he needs time to break up with you. How would you know what you are thinking might be wrong without having a proper conversation about it? You can talk to your partner calmly about how you feel regarding the concern. The concern can be like the above scenario of him asking for some time alone.

Talking to him will make you feel relaxed as well as like your heart’s burden has been taken off. He might not involve you in solving his issues or in his alone also called the “me” time, but he might share some highlights of his issues. The communications allow him to trust you. By openly expressing yourself, you could grow your love and affection for each other.


From my own experience and by seeing the real-life examples of people I think a little apart from each other helps you in understanding the true place of your relationship. Granting him his time will help him in trusting you more than you understand, him like anybody else. Your relationship bond will become much stronger when he returns with his relaxed and cleared mind.

Relationships are something that can’t be forced, and they shouldn’t be forced. When you set somebody free on their own, it shows whether he is the right one for you or not. The current state will help you determine if you both are happy together or not?

Let him know you are there for him no matter what happens. The trust in the relationship will build up more by saying those words. Both of you should be a team that supports each other in tough times instead of escaping from the situation. It doesn’t matter about the quantity of time you spend with each other, it’s about the quality of time you spend with each other.

If he is the right man for you, the time apart will eventually make him realize that he is just being stupid. If things go as expected, then you might know for sure he is not the right one. You no longer needed to wait for him to give you what you deserve. You could be free from the confusing relationship.

Sometimes, people do as they say but it’s hard to believe it. But then you could have an honest conversation with each other to clarify whether he is speaking the truth or just making up an excuse to end.

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