Things he will do if he wants a relationship with you. How to know if a guy is serious about you? I know what it’s like to be stuck in a confusing situation. It seems like this guy really likes you, but at the same time, the terms of your relationship are unclear and undefined, and you want to know if you’re wasting your time with this guy or not?
Things A Man Will Do If He Wants A Relationship With You:
1. He’s Consistent In His Pursuits:
So he pursues you, but a guy who is not serious about you and wants to hook up will also pursue you. The difference is: he constantly pursues you. There is a consistent pattern of behavior that means you’re not hearing from him all the time one week, and then he disappears the next.
He’s not acting like your boyfriend one day and then acting like he doesn’t even know you the next day, and there is consistency. He consistently reaches out to you and talks to you and sees you, and there is none of this hot and cold on and off confusing mixed-signal behavior.
When a guy sends out those mixed signals and acts hot and cold, that’s usually a sign that he likes you, but he doesn’t like you enough.
2. The Relationship Escalates:
It doesn’t just stagnate and stay stuck in the same spot, and he doesn’t say things to you like;
“I like things the way they are, why should we change anything? Or I don’t like labels, or everything’s fine the way it is, why do you have to rock the boat?”
If he wants a serious relationship with you, there will be a progression and an escalation the relationship will deepen. You’ll spend more time together, he’ll make it official, and he will introduce you to his friends and family.
He will take the next step, maybe it’s moving in together whatever it is, and there will be an escalation, you won’t just be going like this.
If he shoots you down every time you, try to talk about the relationship and talk about where things are going. If he makes a joke, or he deflects or dismisses whatever it is, you’re saying that is a very strong time that he is not serious about your escalation, it doesn’t mean you’re hitting different relationship milestones all the time because there’s only so many milestones you can hit.
He shares more of himself with you, he’s more open with you, and he’s more vulnerable with you, and there is also you spending more time together.
You talk more, maybe you were talking on the phone twice a week, or you were only hanging out twice a week. He really reveals his true self to you, not just his surface level. Self the real him, that is how you know your relationship is deepening, escalating, and progressing.
3. He Talks About The Future In A Real And Concrete Way:
A lot of women up because they tend to put a lot of value on words rather than actions, while men show how they truly feel through actions more than work?
I have been seeing this guy pretty casually for a few months. I really liked him. He was kind of iffy about me because I acted super needy in the relationship. He was gonna be going on this family trip to Aruba, and I said something like;
“Oh! I’m so jealous you’re going to Aruba.”
And he goes well! Maybe, next year you’ll come, and I was like;
“Oh my god, he’s totally serious about me. He’s thinking about me coming out on a family vacation a year from now that has to mean something.”
I was super excited about that, and never mind the fact that I didn’t hear from him. Once the entire ten days that he was gone, he didn’t even reach out to me right away. When he came back, he waited a few days, and then he texted me like;
“Hey! What’s up? I want to come over and hang out.”
But I just missed all of that, and that’s something that you do. You dismiss things that don’t align with your vision for how you want things to be, and you hang on to the one thing that says that reality is as you want it to be.
I wanted him to be my boyfriend, I wanted things to get serious, and so I held on to the fact that he said;
“Maybe next year, you’ll come on a family vacation.”
I disregarded everything else.
The moral of this story is:
You have to look at the actions because it’s easy to say but very difficult to do. There are action steps that follow up his words. He talks about the future with you in a real way, not in an abstract airy-fairy way.
You have to look at actions and steps that align with what he’s saying? If he does things that match up with what he’s saying then, you can believe him. If he’s saying a bunch of stuff then, you wouldn’t put so much weight on that.
4. You Feel At Ease:
Most women mistake the feelings of anxiety and insecurity that come when they don’t know how someone feels about them with feelings of actual love. It is the roller coaster of ups and downs and is exhausting, and they feel like that’s what love is supposed to feel like this isn’t love, this is anxiety, and this is an anxious attachment style being activated those feelings of anxiety are usually roused.
When they don’t know how someone feels about them, or when they can’t or won’t meet their needs then, they try to win them over and make the relationship into what they want it to be, or what they think that it can be? And it just feels so stressful and so tense, and when he gives them a sign that maybe he does really like them then, they’re elated, and they think;
Yes, it’s working, all my efforts are working.”
But then he pulls back again, and they’re at the pit of despair; they think that love is supposed to be like this because that’s what they see, that’s what they see on TV, in movies. They think it’s supposed to be hard and drama-filled.
Here’s the secret:
It’s not true love doesn’t feel like this true love feels easy and effortless. And it doesn’t mean that relationships don’t take work, they do, but the work comes later in the beginning when you like him, and he likes you, and you’re on the same page.
It just comes together so effortlessly you don’t need to back him into a corner and badger him to have the talk with you and to understand: what you are, and what this relationship is, and where it’s going? You don’t have to do that because you are on the same page, it’s just clear and obvious, you feel at ease, and you feel like you can be.
You don’t feel like you are constantly trying to be what you think that he wants you to be, or you have to monitor your behavior walk on eggshells for fear of rocking the boat and for fear that you might do something that’s gonna trip some imaginary wire and then that’s it the relationship is just gonna be over.
5. He Tells You He Wants A Relationship:
The number one way to know if a guy wants a relationship with you.
- Does he tell you he doesn’t want a relationship with you?
- Does he tell you I don’t want a relationship?
Maybe he says;
“I don’t want a relationship right now, or I don’t want a relationship with you.”
Either way, it is clear and obvious when a guy wants you, he’ll tell you and claim you, he’s not gonna wanna risk losing you to some other guy.
And with the right guy, there’s nothing to stress over and obsess about, that’s not what you’ve been led to believe because they think it’s supposed to be so hard and so confusing.
If it’s hard and confusing, you’re in the wrong relationship, and you’re with the wrong guy.