Signs he is using you. First, how does a guy feel about you? It was very painful, especially when you have strong feelings for him. What makes it even more painful is: if you feel like this guy is using you or playing you or just isn’t serious about you. If you feel like he’s just using you as a means; to an end, the end being his own pleasure, and you might not really know:
Is he using you? Or are you being paranoid and insecure?
1. He’s Wishy-Washy:
One day, he’s all-in, he’s super into you, and he’s obsessed with you. The next day, he is nowhere to be found, and you have no idea where you stand with this guy.
Some days, it really seems like you’re in a serious relationship, and other days, it seems like he doesn’t like you at all, and you have no idea what’s going on? When he doesn’t like you enough, he can be all over the place. One day, he’s all, and the next, he’s nowhere to be found.
If you feel like your guy is hot and cold and sending mixed signals, it is a strong sign that he is just using you and doesn’t like you enough.
2. He Doesn’t Take You Out On Dates:
If a guy isn’t interested in pursuing a serious relationship with you, he will keep it as casual as possible. He might not put in much more effort than asking you to come over and watch a movie.
And if you always oblige then, he’ll have no motivation to change anything. Because as human beings, we try to get away with as much as we can, we want to put in the minimal effort to get the maximum reward. So if he doesn’t have to put in any effort, and you’ll just show up, he’s not gonna put in any effort.
3. He Doesn’t Want A Relationship:
When a guy says;
“I don’t want a relationship right now.”
Believe him the reasons, don’t matter the facts, do instead of plotting how you’re gonna become this amazing woman that gets him to change his mind, and finally gets this guy to commit and take his words at face value.
You are doing yourself a huge disservice if you delete yourself into thinking that he means something other than what he’s saying to you is that; he enjoys the physical aspect of the relationship, but he does not want to deal with the emotional aspects that come from being in a relationship, that’s why he enjoys hooking up with you.
He doesn’t want anything more that is what he means; that’s it, there’s not much more to analyze other than that.
4. He Doesn’t Try To Know You:
Think about your interactions with him, and the kinds of questions he asks you, and what your conversations are like?
- Is it just flirty mindless banter?
- Is it just physicals and you endow?
- Does he ask you deep questions?
- Does he really try to get to know you and find out who you are?
If you’re the only one asking deep questions, and he’s just like making jokes and kind of not reciprocating and trying to get to know you as well, it’s a sign that he just wants to keep this relationship for a situation ship very surface level and doesn’t want to take it any deeper than a physical-only relationship.
5. He Doesn’t Introduce You To His People:
He doesn’t introduce you to his friends or his family, and he doesn’t really seem to care about meeting your friends or family. If he does introduce you to these people, it doesn’t necessarily mean much because some guys introduce girls to their family, and they don’t really care if it’s just been one date or if it’s been the 20th date.
So you have to take this list as a whole, don’t just look at;
“Oh! He did all that other stuff, but he did introduce me to his family, so that means; he must like me.”
So just keep that in context, but in general, if a guy is just using you, he won’t introduce you to his people. It could just be that he doesn’t want to give you the wrong idea and make you think that the relationship is more serious than it is.
He could also be afraid that one of his family members or his friends will slip up and mention to you that he’s seeing other girls. Because if he is in this for the hookup, he probably is seeing other people as well, so in his mind, it’s best to just keep everyone separate.
6. You Are Not A Priority:
Everything runs on his timetable; he basically only has time for you when he wants to get his needs met. The rest of the time, he’s too busy, stressed, and slammed, and he has too much going on.
It’s just basically about him and satisfying his needs and not really putting you first in any way. You basically never feel important to him, and it always feels like something else is coming before you.
7. He Openly Flirts With Other Women:
If a guy does this: he is kind of unconsciously telling you that he is not exclusive to you, and he wants you to know that without having to have that uncomfortable conversation with you.
It’s also possible that he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong because he’s in a casual situation with you. And so he’s flirting with other women because you aren’t exclusive, and you aren’t anything.
So if he openly flirts with other women in front of you, he openly texts other women in front of you or flirts with them in the comments section on Instagram is a strong sign that he is just using you.
8. He Doesn’t Share His True Self With You:
If a guy is not interested in getting serious with you, he will probably withhold the deep parts of himself. Because it’s hard for men to open up, and they usually just reserved that for women that they are serious about on the flip side.
Guys who are very emotional are also; you should be wary of them because that’s just a sign of emotional instability. And emotionally unstable guys are usually in a very selfish headspace, and he could also be using you.
But in general, if a guy is not interested in anything serious with you, he just kind of wants it to be a physical-only type of relationship. He will withhold who he truly is, and just keep the conversation at a very surface level in a sane flirty banter.
9. He’s Selfish:
If a guy is just using you, you’ll notice that; it is all about him; he’s only thinking about himself and his needs, which runs on his timetable.
He wants you to drive to him, he wants you to work around his schedule, and he wants you to meet him when it’s convenient, and he never really factors you in.
So, this is a part of signs he is using you, or it’s also a sign that he’s a jerk. Either way, you don’t want to be involved with a guy like that.
10. He Talks About The Future And You Are Not In It:
You might talk about how he wants to go across the country, or he wants to go live in Europe for a few years, and he makes no mention of you being a part of his plan at all.
He just kind of is making his own plans, and you’re not even a factor in his decision-making.
11. You Feel It In Your Gut:
We know when someone is using us, we don’t want to admit it. The reason why it’s so confusing is that; he’s not mean to you all the time, and he’s not treating you badly all the time.
A lot of the time, he’s really nice to you, he does sweet things, and he is romantic, and that’s what you hold on to. And you try to ignore the rest and use the good stuff as proof that reality is as you want it to be even though deep down.
You know the truth that this guy doesn’t value you the way that you deserve to be valued. So if you’re in a situation with a guy, who won’t commit to you, and you feel like he’s using you, what should you do?
You could try bringing it up because it’s not really your role to have to go out on this emotional limb. And if a guy likes you, he usually will step up and claim you the majority of the time. Maybe, there are rare exceptional times, and he won’t, but if a guy likes you, he will want you to be his, he won’t want to risk losing you, so if you’re the one that has to bring this up.
You could just be cool, casual, not emotional and dramatic because if you came at him emotionally and dramatically, it’s just gonna shut you out completely.