Breakups are brutal no matter what the circumstances, but especially if you feel like; there is so much left unfinished. If you feel like this was the guy for you, and you could have made it work, and he just threw in the towel way too early. You can get your ex back, but it doesn’t happen because you love and miss each other. If you get back together for those reasons, history will repeat itself, and make it work this time. The most important and effective rules to obey if you want your Ex-Boyfriend back.
1. Follow The No-Contact Rule:
After a breakup, you must go at least three weeks without contacting him or responding. If he contacts you so that means no calls, texts, snaps, tweets, DMS, nothing at all. If you saw something that you thought he would find funny, no contact whatsoever; you need to get distance from this situation, you can’t see things clearly with your face pressed up against the glass.
You need to step back so that you could see the situation for what it was, and so you could see if it could work out if you got back together, or maybe you are better, just moving on to something else as a bonus. The no contact period will make him miss you because he can only feel the weight of your absence, if you are absent, if you’re right there then, he won’t miss you and regretting his decision. That’s why it is so important that you don’t beg for him to come back, lead to any grand romantic gestures, try to argue your way out of this, or get him to change his mind.
You don’t do any of those things because if you do those things, he will be more confident in his decision to break up with you. No one is ever 100% sure of their decisions, especially when it comes to breaking up with someone. So the more you badger him and come out to him and try to win him back, the more sure he will become that breaking up with you is the right decision.
So you need to step away and use this time to focus on yourself and get back to a strong place emotionally because breakups can leave you pretty broken.
2. Don’t Focus On Getting Him Back:
You want to get back together with him, and it will help you get him back, but that’s not your focus. Don’t focus on how to get him back, strategize, and obsess over him.
You need to focus on yourself and getting to a good healthy strong place because that is what gets your ex to come back for things to be different, and for the relationship to be different things that means that changes need to be made on both sides. It’s important to focus on yourself after a breakup, do not focus on all the details of what happened and what went wrong in a relationship?
Also, you don’t want to let him know that you want him back, and letting him wonder how you feel is much more intriguing than him, knowing that you’ll take him back at any point in time. Because if he knows that you’re there waiting in the wings, it just comes across as desperate and pathetic. If he’s not sure where you stand, that is much more appealing, and that will get him to second-guess his decision to break up with you all.
Don’t post things on Twitter or Instagram or Facebook that are directed at him like no sad quotes about;
“Well, if you can’t handle me at my worst then, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
Because he knows what game you’re playing and posting it to get his attention, so don’t do that; it just makes you look pathetic.
3. Do An Inventory:
The golden rule about getting back with an ex is: it won’t work unless something significant changes, and change takes time, and it takes work. You need to dig deep and look at things clearly, and from a more objective lens to know if the relationship truly can be salvaged.
You need to do it on your end to see: if this relationship can last, if he doesn’t do any work on his end then, that’s on him. So you need to look at yourself and look at your back in a relationship.
– Were you needy?
- Why were you so dependent on him to feel okay?
- What hole was he plugging up for you?
- Maybe he was an attractive guy who could have any girl and the fact that he chose you?
- Were you not able to trust him?
– Were you kind of always looking for any signs that he was betraying you?
- Why was he untrustworthy?
- Was he shady?
- Was he doing things he shouldn’t have been doing, or do you have trouble trusting anyone?
– Do you have trust issues in general?
- Where do those come from?
- What’s the root of them, and how can you solve them?
Other good questions to ask yourself are:
- What did I tell you in this relationship that I shouldn’t have tolerated?
- How was I in this relationship, and was I true to myself, or did I sell myself out?
- What did I do in this relationship that I could bring into my next relationship, whether it’s with your ex or with some other guy?
- What did I do that I never want to do again, and why did I act that way, which caused that behavior in me?
Ask yourself, and answer these questions honestly.
4. Pursue Your Passions:
A breakup can leave us feeling broken. We feel an emptiness within, and the only way to heal and ensure that things work out is to get back together with him. It’s important to pursue your passions and to fill yourself up in that way because passions are what make us feel alive, and they’re what connects us to our essence. And it gives us that feeling of okay, and that can help heal some of that brokenness.
Maybe you pursue passions that you’ve already had or love to write and commit yourself to write some short stories and poems, even writing a book or discovering new passions. There are so many things out there, so find your passion or pursue your passion. Do that thing that makes you feel that connects you to your essence, and this will not only help you get your ex back, but it will also make you magnetic. We love being around passionate people because they inspire us. Everyone wants to feel inspired, so that’s an important area that you should be focusing on.
5. Be Okay With The Outcome No Matter What:
If you feel like it will be the end of the world, or if he doesn’t want to get back together with you, that is the wrong headspace. The reason confident people thrive is that they are okay, no matter what happens, and that’s the attitude.
You need to be okay if he wants to get back together, and if that doesn’t happen then, there is a chance that might not happen, which means no one can ever give you 100% guarantees of anything in life. Also, this ex might not even be the right guy for you, in which case you don’t want to be back together with him. You need to have an attitude, if it does work out, you’ll be great, but if it doesn’t, you’ll be fine.
It’s important not to commit yourself to a guy until he’s committed himself to you. And it’s also important not to put pressure on a situation because nothing thrives under pressure like that especially, not with relationships. You need to let them blossom organically, and you can’t force him to feel the way you want him to feel. And if it’s so hard to get him to reconsider then, maybe he isn’t the right guy for you.